


Under the Rain

by RyuuichiKashima



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/M, First Time, It will surprise us all, Loosely based on New Moon events, Maybe - Freeform, Pre-Relationship, Sort of a Love Triangle, Violence, Who knows where this leads?, Wolf Phasing, Wolf Tribe - Freeform, as expected with Vampires, idk what I'm doing I just want to write Bellisle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:15:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26449888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyuuichiKashima/pseuds/RyuuichiKashima
Summary: Following the final events of Twilight, the Cullens leave Forks just as Bella finds out Carlisle is the one who saved her, not Edward. Questioning herself and her feelings, she tries to carry on without them...
Relationships: Carlisle Cullen/Bella Swan
Comments: 12
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _"If you need me there I don't care  
>  Took over my mind  
> Till my thoughts turned black  
> Water into wine there's no turning back  
> Poison in my lungs it's a heart attack  
> I won't come back"_  
> 
> 
> I haven't written a fic in almost 10 years, I don't know where this will end up but thanks for joining my journey. I always dip in and out of the Twilight fandom but this time I'm here to stay and feed my OTP. I recently made a purely Twilight tumblr know as eclipsebells if ya'll are interested. I'm not American but I'm gonna try and make this as American as possible lol excuse my terrible sense of direction tho 

The pain was excruciating.

Like a thousand stabs from the sun continuously. It wasn’t easing and it seared through every inch of her body. It was escalating at an alarming rate as it seeped into what felt like every pore, bone and artery. She could feel her body trembling as she screamed, but no sounds reached her ears.

Her eyes tried to take in her surroundings but everything was hazy as the burning was driving her into a frenzied state, one she could not control nor escape.

That was, until, it eventually began to subside.

At first it was minimal, barely scratching the surface. She wasn’t sure if it was disappearing or if she was just getting used to it.

But it was.

Slowly, it felt like the agony was being extracted from every vein of her bloodstream. The pain was lingering, but not unbearable.

She was acutely aware of a cold, desperate mouth upon her wrist.

Like someone was attempting to envelope her skin within a vice. It didn’t hurt, but it was a sensation she couldn’t pinpoint. It was uncomfortable, but something about it was comforting, gentle… loving.

And eventually, the darkness arrived.

* * *

When Isabella Swan opened her eyes, she was lying in a hospital bed. The room smelled clinical and her eyes scanned the room. There were other beds separated by sheer curtains, a small basin by the door and a large, wilting plant secluded in the shadow of the corner.

Then her eyes fell upon Edward Cullen.

“Bella...” He choked, honey coated eyes full of worry as he gave her a gentle hug.

“W-What happened?” Bella asked cautiously, as if she didn’t want to know the answer to the question.

“What do you remember?” Edward’s words brought back the memories.

James thrusting her around like a rag doll as she slid across the floor. His grasp on her leg before teasing Edward and then… the pain. Oh, the pain.

“I remember James. He...” Bella looked down at her arm, “Bit me. But yet, I’m still human.” She half-laughed. “Looks like I’m luckier than I thought.”

Edward’s face scrunched up with an expression Bella couldn’t quite decipher.

“Bella, the only reason why you’re still human is because the venom was removed from your body. Otherwise you would be no more than this.” The pale boy gestured to himself.

Bella mulled over these words. The venom was removed. It’s unlikely the hospital could have done that. The secret of Vampires had to be protected. They wouldn’t have the means to perform a procedure to do so.

So as she sat there twisting her arm and examining the scar from other angle, she couldn’t help but notice there was a ring amongst the teeth marks. It wasn’t just one set of teeth that had found their way to her skin, but two.

Bella looked up at Edward with a question in her eyes. Despite not being able to read her mind, he seemed to know what she was trying to convey.

“The venom was sucked out of you.” Edward’s voice shook as he provided her the information. A small smile crept unto Bella’s face,

“You saved me?”

Edward shook his head and pursed his lips.

“Then who…?”

“Carlisle.”

Bella’s heart skipped a beat at the thought of Dr. Cullen saving her life and not hesitating to do so, even if it meant drinking human blood. Why would he go that far? In all conventions of the word, she supposed she was Edward’s mate and by extension that made her part of the family. She didn’t realise she meant that much to them though. Risking losing control by drinking human blood just to save her life. Then again, Carlisle was notorious for saving lives, it shouldn’t come as a surprise.

“What do you mean… why didn’t you…?” Bella trailed off, unsure of what she wanted to ask.

“I couldn’t, Bella. I couldn’t find the self control to do so. I’m sorry.” Edward’s eyes dropped, “Which is why we’re leaving.”

Bella’s chocolate brown eyes snapped up. Her face contorted into a devastated leer.

“What? Why?!”

“I couldn’t protect you, and on top of that I couldn’t even save you. Bella, you’d be better off without me… without all of us in your life.”

Bella’s whole world came crashing down as she processed the words. The Cullens were her entire life, a second family and a reason for living. She knew she would be nothing without them. How could they desert her now? After everything they’d been through? She knew Victoria and Laurent were still out there too, and no doubt they would hear word of the Cullens’ departure and attempt to hunt her down…

She felt like she had no reason for remaining in Forks herself if they weren’t here. Sure, she had Charlie and she adored him to pieces but she couldn’t open up to him like she could with them, she couldn’t lay her soul on the line. She wanted so desperately for this to be a joke, some big idea of a sick prank. But it didn’t seem to be the case as Edward’s expression remained bitter and torn.

“Edward, please. You can’t--” She choked on her words, the mere thought consuming her with despair and emptiness, “Let me come with you if you won’t stay… please!”

“I’m sorry, that is simply not an option.” Edward stood up, and leaning down slowly he pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. “Stay safe, Bella. I’ll always love you, no matter how far away I am. The fact will remain – you’re always going to be in my heart.”

And with that, he was gone.  
And so, it felt, was her soul.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"I can't open up and cry,_  
>  'cause I've been silent all my life."  
> 
> 
> I'm kinda humbled I've had comments and kudos already. I almost didn't have the courage to write/upload this but here we are! Thank you ♥

Dismissal from the hospital, the drive home and the unlocking of the front door as they entered the quiet and lonely house felt like a surreal blur.

Bella sat upright in her bed, engulfed in a blanket three times her size and stared aimlessly at the walls. As she stared into what could have been a black hole, for how she felt, she pondered three things.

 _One_ – Edward was gone, and therefore so were the Cullens. The mere thought of this made Bella feel like her heart was erupting or being stabbed by a million needles, so she tried to avoid reminding herself involuntarily but unfortunately the brain was a powerful muscle, and she couldn’t help but replay the memory over and over, like a VHS tape stuck on a loop.

 _Two_ – Where were they? Did they travel to another state, or country? Bella tried to recall places they had mentioned. Alaska. Italy. Her mind was hazy. She had to find out where they had gone, she had tried to email both Edward and Alice numerous times to no avail.

 _Three_ – Perhaps the strangest of all – Carlisle had saved her. Okay, so maybe this one wasn’t that far-fetched. But she had a compelling urge to thank him, she owed her life to him. If Edward had loved her, like she thought he had, then how did he not find the strength to save her? She had put her heart and soul into his hands (almost literally), and she had no doubt he would stop anything happening to her. Yet he couldn’t even manage to do this for her. Did Carlisle step in without Edward asking? Did Edward ask for help? She had no idea, and now she probably never would know.

Thinking about Carlisle eased the pain, if only for a short while.

Bella had always really liked Carlisle. He was kind, gentle and a grade above the other vampires due to his remarkable self-control and willingness to help others. That could be the answer to her question – maybe his helpful nature was the only reason why he saved her? No, surely not. After all, you don’t risk possibly killing a human by drinking their blood if you don’t care about them.

Bella could never understand why the Cullens thought so highly of her. She never intended to be self-deprecating but when you were an average girl in a small average town, it was hard to stand out. Edward had said her blood “calls to him”. If her blood was really so overpowering, then where was he now?

After spending what felt like a lifetime debating, but was probably only a few hours, she came to one conclusion that was resolute in her mind.

Edward never truly loved her.

* * *

_Bella ran across a field, baseball bat in tow and a wide grin stretching across her face. First base, second base, third base, home run! She cheered as she realised she had managed to outrun the vampires. She was almost sure they let her, though._

_“Ha!” She cried with delight, “I finally got a home run!”_

_The Olympic coven cheered with her as they applauded. Their happiness, amazement and love radiated from their expressions and they all welcomed her into a hug._

_“Well done, Bella.” A voice whispered into her ear. She turned around to see both Carlisle and Edward standing there. She wasn’t sure who whispered it but they both produced a dazzling smile that had her not caring who it was._

_“Congratulations.” A different voice called from across the field, “How impressive. Now let’s see you try to outrun this...”_

_Bella whipped her head round and locked eyes with James, eyes glowing red and teeth snarled, venom pooling inside of his mouth as it seeped to the edges and descended down his chin. He let out a deep growl and charged forward._

_“NO!” An anguished shriek found its way to her ears. She had no time to find out who it was._

Bella jolted from her sleep with a deafening scream. The scrambling of footsteps sounded outside in the hallway before the door opened, Charlie appearing as he flicked on a light switch.

“Bells? Bells, I’m here.” He darted over to the bed and held her tightly. “Shh, tell me what happened.” He stroked her long hair gently.

Bella shook with a sob and fear as she pulled away slowly to look Charlie in the eyes.

“I’m… okay, dad. Just a bad dream.” She smiled weakly. She didn’t want to worry Charlie, not any more than she already had.

Charlie scrutinised her before letting out a gruff.

“Bella… you’ve been through a lot.” He started as he ran his fingers through his short, dark hair, “And with Edw- everything that has happened today… it’s no surprise for you to be feeling this way.”

Charlie reflected on his words. After all, when Renee had left he felt a similar depression and struggled to sleep for weeks, even months.

Bella searched Charlie’s face as she tried to calm her nerves.

“I’m fine, really.” She sighed, “I’d like to go back to sleep.”

Charlie sighed himself and stood up, “You call me if you need anything. Anything at all. Goodnight, Bells.”

“Goodnight.”

As the door clicked shut, Bella looked to her window. She half expected Edward, or any Cullen really, to enter unannounced and shout, “Surprise!” with a toothy grin. She longed for all of this to be a dream.

But no, she had already had her dream for tonight.

Except it was a nightmare instead, and one that felt like it could have been real.

She settled further into her bed, and rotated slightly so she was half on her side, eyes blinking against the darkness. It was slightly chilly tonight. She didn’t mind it though. She’d give anything to feel the coldness of vampire skin against her own.

She closed her eyes firmly, and slowly succumbed to a sleep that she almost hoped would last forever.

* * *

A week had passed and Bella was finding her life to be mundane, every day felt like a chore.

She didn’t have to be a mind reader like Edward to know that everyone was looking at her and thinking of her, their eyes full of shallow or genuine pity, depending on who it was.

She sat with her friends at lunch as she always did, but she took none of their conversations in. They had accepted this too, after they tried to prod her for replies they eventually gave up.

She was grateful, but she also felt terrible. She wanted to be able to respond to them earnestly and improve her relationships but she couldn’t bring herself to form a proper answer. Not right now at least.

Angela would smile at her gently, and ask quietly if she was alright. Bella would nod and give her most reassuring smile, which probably wasn’t that reassuring given the way she felt.

She performed as normally as she could, but it still wasn’t good enough. She wasn’t fooling anyone.

Something had to give though, she thought. Surely she would feel okay with time? She missed having a laugh with her friends and Charlie. She missed Jacob. He was a bit more distant these days but still checked in on her. She had made a mental note to visit him but that wasn’t at the front of her mind right now.

When Bella got home, Charlie’s cruiser was nowhere to be seen. He must be at work.

She sunk into the sofa and sat there in silence. It was nice. She didn’t need to pretend and this made her feel slightly better.

She turned her attention to the scar on her wrist. She examined it from every angle, as she had done every single day.

She brought it up closer to her face and looked at the faint indents of sharp teeth. She let out a sigh and her mind wandered to Carlisle.

Carlisle had been on her mind a lot recently.

Not Edward, like everyone who knew her expected her to think of.

No, the handsome Doctor with blonde locks and a firm, beautifully sculpted face and pointed nose that made him look like he belonged on the cover of a high-end fashion magazine.

She had seen him in a new light. Not like she hadn’t seen him as gorgeous before. Because, who wasn’t privy to their charms?

But now he was all she could think about.  
She felt angry with herself, thinking of Carlisle instead of Edward, especially as he was basically Edward’s father. Normal people don’t think about their boyfriend’s (well, ex-boyfriend’s) dads. It was an unwritten human law surely.

However it was the only form of happiness Bella had right now, as thinking of him really did ease the pain. And she was okay with that.

* * *

Later that night, when her and Charlie were eating dinner that consisted of sea bass and vegetables, the phone rang.

Both Charlie and Bella looked to the phone and Charlie was first to rise as he picked the phone up from the hook.

“Hello, Swan Residence?” He said in a voice that leaked some professionalism, which was understandable given this was the home of the chief of police. “Ah, Jacob! Nice of you to call. How’s things?”

Bella’s ears pricked at the name and she watched with curiosity.

“Ah, good, yeah. She’s here. I’ll pass it over.” Charlie brought the phone away from his ear with a grin on his face. It was kind of infectious, so Bella returned the grin slightly.

She stood up and received the phone, “Hi Jake.”

“Bella!” The voice from the other end sounded happy, but also slightly… deeper? “How are you?”

“I’m… good.” Bella chose her words carefully, “What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to come over this weekend. Fix up some vehicles, eat rubbish food and maybe even a rubbish movie too?”

He was attempting to cheer her up, and she appreciated it.

“Sure, I’ll be there.” Bella said with a small and genuine smile. Charlie smiled behind his fork, “But I get to choose the movie. I’m not watching Jurassic Park again.” She quipped.

There was a laugh, “Deal. See you then.”

“Bye.” Bella set the phone down, and for the first time in a week she felt rather normal. It’s true what they say. You get by with a little help from your friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not planning to drag Bella's depression out in detail, and with what I have planned in the next chapter it won't make any sense to do that? I guess.
> 
> Also to clarify, I love Jurassic Park. lmao


End file.
